Yesterday was not a good day. However, I have recently learned that days turn out to be what you make them. Oh sure it would be easy for me to sit here and dwell on the fact that I have had a lot of health issues to deal with recently, financial set back due to being off work, and consistent pain. However, I can not bring myself to do that. This is why...
When I was put into the hospital it forced me to do a lot of thinking. It forced me to face the fact that Paul and I had done the exact thing that we said we would never do. Take life for granted. Things in our house where chaotic, kids and parents where consistently at each other, disrespect had taken over, and there was no order to our life, whatsoever. From the outside looking in, people thought our home was so put together. It was anything but. The day I was discharged from the hospital, my husband and I had a real heart to heart. We had realized that we did everything that we said we wouldn't. We said we would never take our income for granted, we had come to rely way too much on money. We said we would always keep our family unit a priority. We had come so consumed with buying a new home, making bills, and work that our kids became passing thoughts. Not something either of us are proud of, but it does happen. We had gotten away from God, our ethics, and most of all, each other. At that moment, we decided enough was enough. We started by reviewing our daily routines. Something that we knew would have to change. My new health issues make it impossible for me to physically and mentally do it all. Funny thing was, I didn't realize just how much I did for everyone else before. I had completely made the kids and Paul dependent on me. Right on down to still fixing the kids dinner plates. I know, teenagers, right? Crazy. I had adopted the thinking that it was just easier to do it myself. I was so wrong. Paul and I brought back the old chore list and set down to a long talk with the kids. It was not only time for parents to wake up, but for the kids to accept and understand mom's lack of ability. It was a very hard conversation. We, in a sense, were asking them to admit that mom was sick and would never be the same. I know this was very hard for them. It can't be easy to see your friends moms run all over and be supermom, then get home and know yours isn't and never will be. However, like the amazing human beings they are...they stepped up. Sure there are days chores don't get done, but at least they can function when I am not able to be the most help. We addressed the disrespect towards others issue simply by saying it would not be tolerated any longer. They knew how disappointed we were in this behavior. Especially when we apologized to them for own disrespectful behaviors. It somehow meant more to them when we admitted to being wrong and suggested that we work together to correct the problem.
We also started finding ways to save money. Not that we needed to, but that we had taken our present income for granted. We had bought our own property a couple of years ago with the dream of putting a new house on it. We let convenience and fear take that dream away. No house was ever going to be good enough for us, unless we were on our own property. Deep down we knew this. So plans were set forth to be able to put a house in by spring. Crazy thing is, it will actually be better for our financial future long term. Whats even more amazing is how easy things have fallen into place for this new house. It was like it was meant to be. We also decided that saving money would help in the future when I am not physically able to work. This may be 3 years from now or 10 years from now. But it is inevitable. We need to be responsible enough to recognize this and prepare for it.
Finally, we started making the kids stay home more. They had gotten to the point where they were at friends houses more then they were home. This was an adjustment for them, but they did go along with it. Nights of bickering and arguing have turned back into laughter. For the first time in a long time there is laughter in our home again. Shelby and I started going back to church. We are still working on getting the boys back, but decided it is best to take babysteps. It is amazing what hope, love, and faith can bring to a family. We often get so consumed with "keeping up with the Jones" that we forget what is important. It starts to take over our lives. In my case, the stress was making me even sicker. We need our faith to be in God and what He can do for us. Not material things. I feel God's presence in my home again. I feel it with the smile on my kids faces, the tone of my husbands voice, and my own overall health.
Proverbs 14:30 "A heart of peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones." I hope that your day brings nothing but good things. Hoping your weekend is an enjoyable one also. God Bless my friends.
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