There is nothing like a 20 year class reunion to make you sit and reflect on your life. This past weekend proved that, and then some, for me. I sat and looked through old photos and reminisced. No one ever knows, for sure, where they are going to be 20 years in the future. If we did, I promise you my life would be much different, right now. I never planned for the challenges that life has presented me. However, I can't help but think that it has made me who I am today. Chronic illness not only takes its toll on your body, but your mind as well. There comes a point where you are sick of being sick. Then, there comes the moment you are just plain sick and tired of being sick and tired. I know it sounds redundant, but it is what happens. The way I see it, you have a few choices. First, you can keep going through this cycle. Doing the same thing, day in and day out. No habits to break or changes to your lifestyle to worry about. The second choice is to surrender to it. Basically, just giving in. You just sit and let the illness run its course. Whatever happens...happens. The third is to decide that you are not ready to let the illness take you and your life over. It is the most difficult choice. It requires more then positive affirmation and making alternative lifestyle choices. It involves determination and energy. Neither, of which you have when you have been ill for any length of time. After much thought, prayer, conversations with my husband and doctors, and research...this is the choice I have decided to make. As I stated, it will not be easy. However, I can not feel content with any other decision.
So, there is a plan in the works. A plan to not only help my body get healthier, but my mind, as well. Some of the steps might seem small and silly to some. However, if you have ever hit rock bottom, you know that even the smallest things can have a huge impact. Something as little as getting dressed in the morning can be very difficult. There are days I can hardly find the physical strength and mental will power to do this. Then I look at all the wonderful blessings I have been given and know that I have to. I want more from life then that. What if it doesn't work you ask? Well, then I know that I tried everything I could. I can live with that, better then if I just gave up. My biggest enemies are going to be patience and self motivation. I know this, and am working on ways to get me through. I will try to share them, as I go. When you stop to think about it...we all have our struggles. Being a woman is hard. The demands we face on a day to day basis are exhausting and stressful. Whether it is with our weight, depression, smoking, stressed, or whatever. We all need to try and find ways to take care of our physical self, and our mental well-being. So feel free to take the tips you need, participate in the challenges presented, or whatever you need. The important thing to remember (this is the hardest for me), is that we will have bad days. It's not that you had the bad day that counts. It is how you got through it, and what are you going to do to make tomorrow better.
So the first challenge I presented myself was to take few days and just journal my daily activity. I kept track of my diet, medications, sleep, symptoms, weight, and any extra activities. The easiest way to do this is to keep a small notebook in your purse. If you are like me, your purse goes where you go. Now, it is important not to make any changes during this few days. You want to see what your everyday life is like, so that you can look back and see what your day to day routine involves. I know it is hard to remember to always write it down, just do the best you can. Remember, this is not about achieving perfection. It is going to be about different things for different people. For some it might be weight loss, financials, or just plain boosting self esteem. It doesn't matter, whatever the cause, it's all about you and helping you feel better about yourself. Good Luck!!!
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