The last few years seem to have been filled with so many hills and valleys for our family. It definitely feels like we spent more time in the valleys, rather then at the top of the hills. I have spent much time, recently, thinking about t...he differences between what I thought my life would be like and what it actually is. Aside from the obvious affects of chronic illness and stress, there is another component that often doesn't reveal itself unless we are brave enough to face it. It's called fear. I don't mean fear in the sense of it makes you feel insecure. I mean fear in the sense that it makes you afraid to move on. I look backed at some of my high school pictures. I saw a girl who had dreams, focus, and determination. However, my more recent photos depict a woman who feels defeated, weak, and afraid. I have spent so much time listening to doctors, friends, and loved ones tell me all the things that I couldn't do, that I stopped telling myself that it was still okay to chase my dreams. I had forgotten that I am a smart, compassionate, great nurse/person who still has a lot of love and compassion to contribute to others. I completely believed I had nothing left to contribute. That I had nothing I could give to help others or myself. Having dreams in life is necessary. I believe that they are Gods way of directing us towards the plans that He has for us. He put them in our heart for a reason. I had forgotten that. I had let all my imperfections chisel away at my self esteem so bad, that I didn't think I could ever achieve the dreams that I had for myself and my life. The wonderful thing is that I have an awesome God to remind me at just the right moment that it is okay to dream. Not only that, but that it is okay to pursue those dreams. You might have to alter your goals and the plans to achieve them, but it is okay to still work towards them. In fact, He wants us to. He wants us to look to Him for the strength and courage to do so. Don't stop trying to achieve what you want in life. Don't let people, illness, or yourself make it so that you are so afraid of failure that you don't even try. It is in the failures that we not only learn our greatest lessons, but that we become stronger . Use the failures and roadblocks to overcome your fears. Just because life threw you a few (or maybe a lot) curve balls, does not mean that God doesn't want you to be happy and achieve your dreams. He wants you to seek His guidance. I have learned that it is more then the fact that He has a plan for us. It is also about the journey. I have promised myself that I no longer am going to let the constant remarks about what I can't do or am incapable of make me afraid to move on with my life, my career, or my future. Instead, I look at them as a way to appreciate everything I achieve even more. I let them motivate me instead of paralyzing me. You can do the same. It doesn't happen overnight . It requires retraining your mind and how you think. It's not easy, but the rewards are worth it...and so are you. Much love and many blessings!
