Patiently Waiting...

I am currently doing a Bible Study called "Wait and See". It is about how we think and say "all on Gods timing", but we get frustrated and a quitter attitude when we don't receive the answers we seek right away. We find ourselves waiting and just assume that somehow we heard God wrong or made Him upset, or even prayed the wrong prayers. However, sometimes the waiting for Gods purpose to reveal ...itself is part of the plan. Maybe it is His way of preparing you for what He has in store for you. God doesn't ever take us somewhere without a reason. I had always had a need to help other women and to help them form a relationship with God. There was always something, it seemed, getting in the way. Then, when my opportunity came, at almost 40, I thought it was too late. However, He has shown me that it was my age that mattered. It was everything I had been through to this point. What an amazing God to know exactly how to help us turn tragedies into inspiration. I still find myself getting frustrated when I don't get my answers right away. Hey, I am only human!  But then I try to remember that He is teaching me and look for those lessons. Jesus knew what His fate was. He new what His Father wanted Him to do. He could have agonized while He waited to die on that cross. Instead, He spent time with His followers, rendered His teachings, and still loved like He did. If Jesus could wait patiently knowing what He was about to go through, then surely our waiting can not be as bad. When you get impatient, think about the scars He bared for you. What are you willing to bare for Him while you wait? Look at your situation and resolve to learn as much as you can from it. The lessons you learn might be what God is waiting for to move you forward.

While I Wait...

I heard a line from a movie today, that hit me close to home.  The line was, "As I wait for you, Lord, I will serve you."  It brought out something in my thinking that I had not yet realized.  How many times have we prayed to God for answered pray, for health needs, for a loved one to come to know Him, financial needs, professional advancement, family peace, and even the growth of our churches?  Many times, we get so caught up in waiting for the answer, it cripples our life.  We become stagnant and so focused on looking for His answer, we forget that He knows the exact timing for that prayer to be answered.  We put our lives on hold.  We always think to ourselves, "When I know what God wants me to do."  What we should be doing is moving forward, trusting that Christ will wait for the right time for an answer.  He knows that you have burdens and needs.  It made me think about what I was doing for Him, as I am waiting on his answer.  I saw how impatient, self absorbed, and lost I would become while waiting for that answer.  What it, also, made me realize is that I should be serving Him while I wait.  This is not a relationship of you scratch my back, I scratch yours.  It is one of love, respect, kindness, and grace.  He has waited on me so many times in my life.  He has waited on all of us, at one point or another.  While He was waiting on us, He still provided us with homes, food, family, and things He knew we needed.  While we were guilty of sin. He still held us in His arms and loved us.  Maybe you think it is crazy.  I didn't.  In fact, it changed my whole way of looking at answered prayers and unanswered prayers.  Sometimes, we have to proof that we are ready to handle His next step for us.  He knows the exact moment and circumstances that will come about.  God is just waiting for that eye opening moment when it finally clicks to you.  You see some unsnswered prayers aren't unanswered at all.  They are waiting on the sidelines till God calls them onto the playing field.  Who could ask for a better coach?  Certainly not me!  Big hugs, much love, and many blessings!

 

Remembering 9/11...

There are some events in life you just remember vaguely and others you remember like it was yesterday.  September 11, 2001 is one of those days that you just never forget.  Especially, if you are an American.  I can recall almost every detail of that day.  I had walked out of the bedroom as the second plane crashed into tower number two.  At first, I really did not pay much attention to it thinking it was a movie.  As I was struggling to get my son dressed, I realized the CNN logo and the ticker running across the bottom of the screen.  Turning up the television, I remember praying to God that it wasn't what I thought it was.  The very next moment, I saw the first tower crumble to the ground.  As I watched the events of that morning unfold, tears poured out in a steady stream.  Along with the rest of the world, I watched in horror as our country came under attack.  I remember people covered in so much dust they were unrecognizable.  Images of firefighters scrambling into the second tower, unaware that some of them would not make it back out.  Yes, even the horrifying sight of people jumping from the building.  All these images remain today, with me, as well as many Americans,  That day changed the course of our daily lives in ways we never thought would come to pass.  Little did we know the affect it would have on our children at the time.  While many of us sat at work and home watching these events unfold, our children were watching the same at school.  Images that, under most circumstances, parents would censor from their children, were being replayed throughout the day.  Little did I know the effect it would have on our oldest son's heart and what that meant for our family's future.

Many lessons and realizations came about that day.  But the one that makes me the proudest is watching our country come together and lovingly support each other.  It didn't seem to matter what religion, race, profession, social class, or gender a person was.  The United States, all of a sudden, didn't seem so big.  We were all one big family.  Brothers and sisters who felt each others pain, prayed for each other, hugged and comforted each other.  The people of this country brought a true meaning to the words "one nation, under God".  Hurting and scarred for life, Americans helped each other to pick up the pieces and get back to their daily lives.  But our lives would never be the same.  America would never be the same.

Fifteen years later, we still remember that awful day.  America has learned so much from the awful attack that was felt around the world.  In some ways, it has brought us closer.  In other ways, it has distanced us further.  My son was forever changed that day.  I had stated earlier that the events of that day would come to impact our family years later.  My oldest son graduated from high school in 2013.  Two weeks after graduation, he left for basic training and became a soldier.  He has recently gotten out of the Military.  While I am so proud of him, I can't help but be grateful that he is home.  But the fear of terrorism and war still loom over our family as our daughter and son in law will mark their first year anniversary on the 19th of this month.  She is a military spouse now.  She has embraced the lifestyle and, along with my son in law, made us all so proud.  But I can not help but hold my breath when the phone rings.  One of my biggest fears is that she will become a widow all too soon.  Even typing it out is hard.  There is not a day that goes by that I miss praying for them.  God has chosen their path.  I am encouraged that He is with them both, at all times.

So as we tuck our little ones in tonight, give our spouses a goodnight kiss, or say our nightly blessings...let us not forget those who are not able to do the same.  May we always pray for the protection of those who work to keep this country safe.  Most of all, may we never forget the sacrifice made by service members from all backgrounds, innocent people, and the loved ones left to mourn and that they leave at home everyday so they can keep us from the horrible events of September 11, 2016.  May God keep them and the United States in the palm of His hands.  Big hugs, much love, and many blessings!!! 

Be Who You Are...

Men are right. We women are hard to figure out. God made us that way for a reason. We have minds that educate, souls that nurture, and hearts that love enough for everyone. He made man's bodies to protect and provide. He made women's bodies to carry life and to take care of others. The problem isn't that we are complicated. The problem is that you see us that way. Look at the women in your... life as beautiful, kind, loving, and that is what you will see always. It's simple really. Out of all the creatures on earth, God chose a woman named Mary to bare His son. If a woman is good enough for that, she is good enough for anything. Women, encourage and love each other. Be faithful and kind to all those in your life. Remember...we are not superior to men, or even each other. We are daughter's of Christ. In His eyes, we are all loved, protected, and nurtured by Him tje same way. Just something to start your new week out with. Have a blessed Sunday.

What If...

I heard a sermon, recently, that hit really close to home. As I listened to this pastor give his message, I began to look back and think about all the things I talked myself out of that I should have done instead. I didn't talk myself out of them because I didn't want to do them. I did it because I was afraid. Afraid of failure, mostly. I began to ask myself, "How many things have I talked myself out of the God was trying to lead me into becuase I was afraid?" Fear is a... very real thing. It can cripple some people. Did we ever stop to think the reason opportunities present themselves is becuase that is where God wants us to go? Instead of putting all of our trust in God, we say no to taking that step becuase we let fear be greater then His presence in our life. I never looked at it that way. Maybe we need to look at that job assignment, dinner with friends, that move to a new home, starting college, or whatever the situation is in your life as an opportunity to go where God wants us to be. I always say, "I am walking with God on this one." When I start a new journey I am unsure of. Now, when I say it...I will make sure that I truly am putting my trust in Him and His plan for me. I will not be afraid. For I know that God is bigger then anything that may come my way, including my fear. What are you afraid of? What holds you back from following God's plan for you? Our assignment today is to think about this and to put Him above our fears. Have a great day, my friends. May it hold opportunities and blessings that will lead you down the path God has set for you.

Writing Assignment...

This whole last week has been so full of ups and downs.  When I dreamt of being a nurse, I had never thought I would be doing it from behind the scenes.  I remember shortly after I became a nurse, looking at one of my dear friends, who was a supervisor, and stated no amount of money would get me to do her job.  I remember her saying that it was not so bad.  Now, here I am ten years later, and I am doing work I never thought I would do.  Sometimes we have dreams and we get so caught up in them that we are heartbroken when they don't come true.  That was me.  I literally cried my eyes out for weeks after giving up patient care because becoming a nurse practitioner was not going to happen.  Between my vulnerable immune system and the physical stress on  my body, it would have put me at too much risk for infection and injury.  My time working behind the scenes grew on me, tough.  It really showed me a side of nursing that I knew very little about.  It made me even more passionate about how well we take care of our patients.  I continued to walk with God through it, not sure where He was going to take me.  I see bits and pieces of His plans for me everyday.  Sometimes, I even question them.  I know, we shouldn't do that.  But when I do, He always gives me an answer in one way or another.  Seven years after my diagnosis, I am sitting here and still try to figure it all out.  But one thing I know for sure.  Nursing is my calling.  I know this because I am still doing it after all the struggle and illness.  Not in the way I thought I would.  I am doing it in the way God led me to.  You know what?  I love it even more.  I have realized so much about myself and God through the process.  I know that there is not a day that goes by that I can't get through without Him.  Some days are easy and I just need to praise Him.  Other days are hard and I pray to Him to help me through it.  I do try to hide those bad days the best I can.  I am human, however, and it isn't always so easy. I am so blessed to work for an organization that is always trying to improve and has such great staff.  God has given me many gifts.  Family, friends, my career, gardening, crafting, and writing.  I have always kept a journal.  I write down everything from bad moments to the best moments to goals and aspirations.  It is not only very therapeutic, it is also a way to express myself in words that I would get all wrong if they were spoken.  Words can be powerful things when wrote in certain context.  They take us far away, give us wisdom, make us laugh, or even make us cry.  So this leads me to our assignment for the day.  Start writing things down.  It might be making a list.  Keeping a cookbook with your favorite recipes.  Try keeping a journal of some sort.  Maybe just journal things you are grateful for each day.  In today's world of text messaging, emailing, and social media, handwritten words are hard to come by.  Maybe keep a journal for each of your children and journal their accomplishments, your love for them, and things they like.  Put them away and give them to them when they have children of their own.  Trust me...nothing could mean more.  Just start writing with pen and paper.  It could be a cheap notebook.  Its about the content, not the cover.  Big hugs, much love, and many blessings! 

That Moment...

That moment when you realize all the struggle, all the bad moments, the heartache, pain, and the fight to get through each day has led you to a place you could only dream of before. That feeling of having opportunities no matter where you turn and knowing you can and will make a difference in others lives. For all those long nights when sleep seemed impossible and the pain and tears were all you could focus on. I am in a much better place, despite my current health issues,... then I was even a year ago. Yes, I still have bad days. However, they are the days that keep reminding me of how far I have come. It takes an Army of doctors and medications to keep this body working. But it works. Well, kind of. Lol! As long as I can keep doing work that will keep others inspired, healthy, and fighting I am willing to keep fighting myself. It is what gets me out of bed, drives me to work, and up to do it the next day. I once said I had a plan for my life. I have learned that my plan may not always coincide with God's plan. But that it is His plan that has given me the most reward and the appreciation for blessings I would not of had otherwise. Struggle can lead to success. Success isn't always money and power to some. For me, it is making the most of the life I have been entrusted with. He only grants us one. It is our responsibility to decide how we want to live it and what kind of legacy we leave behind. I want my grandson to look at my picture someday and know that his Nana was a Christian woman, who put others first, loved her family, and made a difference to her patients, coworkers, and community.

Riding the Storm

I was sitting her looking at all the post I have written and realized that in October this blog will be four years old.  My how time passes.  When I started, it was more for the cause of therapy then anything.  I've always been the type to journal or write my feelings down.  Writing just has always come so naturally to me.  I certainly never claimed to be any body like Poe, Dickenson, Alcott, or even a Joyce Meyers, for that matter.  It was a way for me to take my experiences, tips, and other things and share them with others.  Most of all, it helped me to feel better.  Sometimes, getting it out on paper makes it so much easier to deal with.  Of course, I have shared many things from housekeeping tips to beauty tips, to recipes, and so mich more.  By far my favorite thing to share is God's word and encouragement for others.  Especially women, who are in a world today where they are expected to be everyone, do everything, and do it perfectly.  If I could reach one person and make them feel better about themselves, I was happy.  However, as the course of time has gone on, I have found that there is simply much more I can do.  For example, encouraging a woman that she is special, is one thing.  But showing her she is special and that the love of Christ is with her, helps her feel as if she isn't alone.  I believe that women today need to cling to Jesus more then ever.  It is a demanding world and He can give us the resources and peace to overcome our obstacles and make a difference in each others life.

The only payment I have ever received from any of my blogs is watching smiles and pride on the faces of my readers.  I want to help them realize the gifts that they were blessed with and how to use them in a way that will shape others, as well as themselves.  Also, the world can be a cold, lonely place for those who feel alone.  No woman should ever feel as if she doesn't matter.  But it is only after we put away our pettiness, pride, anger, and judgements that we can come together.  Ladies, the Lord put us here to be His helpers.  Even more then that, He put us here to be each others helpers.  He knew what we would face and that we would need reminding of His love and our uniqueness.  So, today give a mom a hand, smile to the older woman in the grocery store, or tell that young girl how special she is.  We hold the power within us and the love of our Father to be a strong force that can withstand the worst storms.  Think back to everything you have been through.  The good, bad, and really bad.  Yet, you are still here and still standing.  That is the power of Christ in your life.  Let that be a testimony to your faith in Jesus Christ.  

"Dear God, Teach me to trust in you so that when the unexpected storms of life come, I will expect peace in the midst of those storms, knowing that you are near, you hear my cries, and you are with me and for me. " (Mark 4:37-40)

Moving Forward

So, here it is the middle of March already.  As I reflect on the past three months, I realize that for the first time my year is still looking bright.  Usually, by this time I have given up.  It's crazy how you can go from being so motivated one day to so drained the next.  One thing this time has brought to light is that by just following God's lead, I have discovered so many things I just overlooked before.  I have also been able to start prioritizing better.  One thing I have done to help me with this was to add a daily planner to my routine.  After trying many apps, I just discovered that I was an old fashioned kind of girl and needed to have it wrote down.  This way I don't have to worry about connectivity and it is easy to have my day/week/month laid out in front of me.  When I sat down to make a list of the things I was passionate about, the things I was not, and my goals...I realized that some of my old habits had gone out the window.  Making lists, keeping an updated calender, updated budget, menu planning.  These were all things that helped our house run so much smoother and kept my stress level at bay.   Guess you don't realize just how much you miss and need something until it's gone.  I had thought that with the two older children gone and just my 16 year old left...it would work out fine without that stuff.  I never took into account that he is my free spirited one who hates change amd needs a little more guidance since he has always had older siblings around to help.  Between you and me...his daddy is the same way, even after 40+ years.  So by getting back into planning, I am sure it will help things get done and not forgotten about as much.

 

The beginning of the year brought me so much realization.  It wasn't about making resolutions.  It was about pursuing the things I was passionate about.  I wanted to fill my life with those ideas and things.  It became more about using the lessons and blessings God had given me to make change happen in my life.  Over the past few years, my time has been consumed with trying to prove to others that, despite my health, I could still be super mom/wife/nurse.  A feat that I have been pretty good at, I think.  Especially when it came to convincing myself.  The problem with that is it is so tiring and worse for my health.  At the end of the day, I was just making myself even sicker.  That being said, I started asking myself what was next?  My two older children were all grown.  My youngest is soon to be an adult as well.  Yes, I will be a grandmother for the first time next month, but I knew there was something in my heart that just needed to be pursued.  The problem was figuring out what.  So I spent much time in prayer and meditation.  I finally realized what it was.  It was God telling me to pursue the things I was passionate about.  Not for just my own needs and wants.  He was telling me that He needed me to do it for His.  Sure I could have chosen to live a life of contentment.  I mean who would have questioned it.  A forty two year old disabled woman with multiple medical issues, who has be encouraged to just accept it, and go on disability.  Heck, I had been encouraged by doctors, friends, family, and coworkers to be that way.  However, something in me just couldn't give in and kept pulling at my heart.  So here I am...back in school and trying to find a way to encourage others (especially women).  Nobody should be told they are washed up or that they don't have anything to offer.  No matter who they are, how sick they are, or what gender they are.  You see, God doesn't see His children that way.  And we shouldn't get too comfortable or content in our life that we can't think or act outside the box.  He invests so much into us and has a plan for us all.  That is what I am.  A child of God.  Not afraid to say so and you shouldn't be either.  At the end of the day, when you are sitting there trying to figure out who you are, what your future holds, and how to get through the day...just remember you are His child, too.  You don't have to have all the answers.  You just have to open your heart and trust that He does!  He loves us all the same.  Good, bad, or indifferent.  Nothing we say or do can ever change that.  So yes I will continue to pursue my dreams.  It broke my heart to give up the old ones.  However, looking back, trading the old for the new wasn't so bad.  The old dreams were for my own wants.  The new ones serve a higher purpose.  The blessing is that they fill my heart with so much more passion and desire for helping others and spreading the message of Jesus Christ then the others ever did.  Much love, big hugs, and many blessings! 

  

This Is Just One Chapter...Not My Story

A few weeks ago, I was asked by a dear coworker why I would want to go back to school.  With all my health issues, he thought it would be better for me to just make the most of what I had because the amount of time that I will physically be able to function normally is dwindling a bit at a time.  His intentions were good.  And I am not, by any means, hurt by it.  It is also not the first time I have been asked this question by coworkers, friends, and even family.  So let me walk you through my feelings on why I continue to push so hard.  We will start with my job.  I am a nurse, and love it like I love my children.  I love the way it makes me feel at the end of the day and love the bonds and impact on my patients and their families lifes.  As long as I can keep working, I am beating the Addisons, RA, Asthma, and the Psoriatic Arthritis.  I decided that I was going to fight to be able to do what very few others are.  That is have a flourishing career, well raised family, well kept house, hobbies, and never lose sight of God.  For it is the strength that I get from Him that carries me on.  Do I have bad days?  I sure do.  Sometimes more then others.  But on those days I make it a point to do one small thing, no matter how tired or soar.  It might be going thru a cupboard, wiping the counters, fixing the pillows on the couch, and just anything that gets me moving and makes me feel productive.

In the beginning, it was about keeping it normal for my family.  And, yes, to hide the symptoms, pain, and sadness.  It's about me now, more then ever.  This past five years has tested my faith in ways I never thought it would.  I am 100% sure that the only reason I am not on disability or have given up and can go on everyday is because of the blessings He has given me.  Our God is good, and He knows our needs in all times.  Not just the bad.  He knows our joys, our struggles, and our hearts biggest desires.  In fact, He has placed them there so that someday, we may use then for His purpose.  We see what we choose to see.  I can choose to see the bad and the ugly.  I can choose to see the limited mobility, the pain, the fatigue, the sick face in the mirror, along with the long lost of meds and everything else.  However, I choose to see the good that God has placed in my situation.  I see the special blessings that I had taken for granted before.  I see beauty in people and things I would never notice if I was still going at the pace I was.  I prefer the veiw much more now.  Yes, my body may be getting weaker, but God has given me strength through it all.

 

If sorrow, hurt, and bad things are all we concentrate on, then that is what we have trained our minds to see.  So, it makes it harder to find anything good in our day to day life.  However, if we choose to see good, love, and God in every situation that is what we will see.  It's like when you buy a truck.  You don't realize how many trucks there are just like yours until you buy it.  Suddenly, trucks just like yours start popping up all over.  No, it's not because everyone went out to buy the same exact one you have all of a sudden.  They have always been there.  You just never noticed them until you bought one.  There is a lot of bad in this world and if we choose is to see nothing but, then we will live our days seeing just that.  Yet, there is just as much good.  If we choose to see it, it will change our outlook, our self esteem, and everything else in general.  It can be a life changing experience.  So while I know what my future holds, I refuse to let it effect my life in a negative manner.  I will keep pushing and be grateful for the things I do have.  I will also make the most of every opportunity I can, including going back to school.  This is how I fight back. This is just a chapter in my life.  My story is still being written.  I am just very happy that as long as I choose to see God as the author, it is going to be an awesome story.  Big hugs, much love, and many blessings!

Looking Back To Move Ahead...

I know, I know.  It is the last stretch of January and I am just now getting my first post up for 2016.  I really have no good excuse for this other then I just didn't know what to post about at first.  I know that the beginning of the new year is seen as a new beginning to others.  However, it did not feel that way for me.  It felt more like the beginning of a disappointing cycle of years past.  I would make resolutions, only to break them before the beginning of February.  Not a promising way to look forward to 2016.  As the month progressed and I couldn't bring myself to make any resolutions, I started asking myself some very difficult questions.  Few answers came, and the ones that did weren't exactly encouraging.  Then I heard a sermon one day where the pastor asked the listeners to ask God how He sees you as an individual.  I immediately started thinking about the past five years.  The memories that came to me, about myself, were eye opening and disappointing.  Others have referred to me as many things.  Some bad and some good.  The reality was that I have been harder on myself then anyone else could ever be.  The words that I used to describe my self were tired, failure, scared, unaccomplished, inadequate, and weak.  I could not find one positive word to describe myself.  I also realized that, in some ways, I was a liar.  I got very good at acting like everything was fine, I was doing better, that I had everything under control, and that I was stronger then my circumstances.  Truth is, I wasn't, I had no hope to be any of it, and I had stopped caring what God thought or expected.  Not something I was proud of.  Definitely, not the person I wanted to be or even wanted to know.  Then, yet again, I acquired another infection.  So as if I didn't have another bad words to describe how I felt about myself, I could add scared and frustrated to the list.  Honestly, I was already feeling broken, but now I felt shattered.  How were my employer and coworkers going to react to me for taking more time off?  How was I going to be a good mom, wife, or grandmother?  Since when was what friends, family, and coworkers thought about me so much more important then my health and my ability to be a good mom/wife?  Since when was it so much more important then God?  How come I couldn't seem to just be good?  I wasn't even expecting perfect.  Just "good" for a change.  How could I explain to people, without judgement, how difficult mentally and physically it was to go through this?  It's hard to ask others, even loved ones, for help when you don't even know how to help yourself.  At the risk of sounding cliché, I literally started pleading to the Lord for something to happen.  I mean tears pouring, on my knees, nose to the floor pleading.  Anything!  I didn't expect a miracle, but I needed a sign that He was hearing my prayers.

After I pulled myself together, I decided to start journal my feelings and thoughts.  Journaling is something I have always done.  I find it so much easier sometimes to write my feelings down then to speak them out loud.  In that entry, I wrote about how I felt.  Then I decided to take that pastors advice and write down the words that I thought God would use to describe me.  Funny thing about feeling that awful about yourself...sometimes, you tell yourself these things often enough that you start to believe that is how everybody else sees you too.  So, as if I didn't already feel like I had failed myself and everybody close to me, I felt like I was failing God too.  I put my journal away, picked up my tablet, and started searching YouTube for anything that would make me feel better.  Something caught my attention.  By catching my attention, I mean it turned up every time I turned around.  Now, in my mind, that is someone's way of saying, "Watch me"!  It was a service, named "Hello, From The Other Side", that had been given by Steven Furtick of Elevation Church (if you are interested, it is posted on my Facebook page and based on the beginning of the book of Joshua).  It was his New Years Eve service.  At another risk of sounding cliché, it changed everything.  The fact that many of the feelings and thoughts that Pastor Steve had described, were exactly what I was feeling, furthered my thoughts that God had sent this message to me.  I had been mourning all this time.  Mourning the loss of my dreams, my capabilities, and what I had expected what my life would be like today.  There is a part in the service where he has the congregation stand up, and take a step forward.  Yes, call me corny (for lack of a better word), but I did exactly what he asked them to do.  I had taken that step as a way to mark a new beginning.  That step was more powerful then that.  It gave me hope.  I regained my faith.  It gave me clarity.  Most importantly, it gave me the want for intention and living my life for God's purpose. 

Now, I won't say that all my problems were solved in that one step.  There are other resources I have sought out that I won't get into.  I realize this post has already gotten longer then intended.  However, that one step gave me a starting point.  I decided to take the month of January and really think about how I wanted 2016 to be.  I decided resolutions were not useful unless they were pursued with intention.  So, my list is named "Intentions".  You see, New Years Resolutions are a great way to set goals and aspirations for the beginning of any year.  Its the perfect time to start.  Something about a new year just seems to give people hope and a feeling of a "clean start".  However, unless you make adjustments to your daily lifestyle to accomplish these things, you are already setting yourself up for failure.  And the cycle continues.  What's more...many feel like they can't pick up where they left off.  You need to have a plan for completing your goals.  You also need to have a plan for picking up the pieces when it all falls apart.  Intentional planning (whether for God's purpose or another purpose) is not only away to pursue these aspirations, but it is also a way of making sure you keep these changes in your life for years to come.  So, we are all a work in progress.  Much like this blog.  I intended it to be a way to inspire other women, share faith in Christ, share tips, and just be a place to retreat.  I realize, now, that my biggest mistake was not putting it in God's hands and trusting Him to lead me through it.  Many times I set out to post new entries, only to give up for fear of what others thought, not having enough faith in my abilities, or just plain laziness.  That is the end of that.  I have to start believing in myself again.  The way our Lord does.  The way others do.  I don't know what the future holds for me, but I am confident that God will be with me.  Something I couldn't profess to three weeks ago.  I got so good at pretending with everyone else that things were okay and I was fine, that I even fooled myself.

I do have many plans for this blog this year.  Lord knows, between household projects, crafts, beauty, cooking, and inspirational ramblings, I have managed a list of ideas that should provide me with enough content for a long while.  I also have plans to start a corresponding YouTube channel.  Working on  a filming setup.  I am a nurse not a movie maker.  Lol!  I promise not to get this lengthy (or at least try) in the future.  I also promise to try and not be too preachy.  However, it is important for my followers to know that my faith is a huge part of who I am and how I do everything.  It is a part of myself I lost, and I don't intend on losing it again.  I ask for your patience thru the changes.  I also encourage you to post your thoughts, share my posts, and hit the follow button.  There is also a Facebook page, Instagram page, and I am working on a Snapchat and Twitter pages.  I promise new recipes, home décor ideas, beauty tips, natural cleaning and beauty products and recipes are coming.  And so much more.  If you can give me your time to read my posts, I promise my best to make it worth it.  Too all of you I wishes you and your loved ones the very best New Year.  I pray you are all well and that you made it through this post without completely trying to avoid me in the future.  lol!  Big hugs, many prayers, and much love!     

We Are Not Alone...

http://maturewomenofyoutube.blogspot.com/

 

One of my favorite things to do is watch YouTube.  I love watching videos related to music, style, makeup, inspiration, homemaking, and so much more.  My biggest challenge has been finding women vloggers around my age.  I was watching one and found this list, thinking someone else out there might benefit from it.  I am sure there are more then this, but it is a great lost to get started.  Happy Viewing!  Much love and many blesings!

That Wasn't How It Was Supposed To Go...

I recently needed a reminder of this.  I was so caught up in wondering how things had gotten to where they were, that I had forgotten to see them has how God wanted them to be.  My husband and I had never planned for our children to move so far away from home when they grew up.  I guess we just always thought they would be right here close for us to continue to keep an eye on.  But that is not what happened at all.  We now have a 20 year old son on one side of the country with his expecting wife, and a 19 year old daughter on the other side with her husband.  Fortunately,  we still have our 16 year old son at home.  But the day will come that he will have to make that choice. We have learned that God gave us the tools to teach our children to make those choices for themselves.  Apparently,  he had more faith in our family then we did.  It is still hard, being so far away.  But we find great comfort in the fact that they are believers of Christ and that He has their backs. 

Thru this last couple of years, the Lord has shown us so much.  Not just about our children, but about ourselves as well.  He has shown us that you don't have to keep your children close to home to remain a part of their lives.  With modern technology, it has made it possible for us to talk or text often.  I look forward to those messages.  Even the littlest ones.  He has taught us that the time to slowdown and enjoy life is now.  Not after our youngest child is grown and on his own in the world.  There is so much we want to do with him before that time comes.  We have a grandchild on the way (and more in the future) and want to be an active part of their lives.  We had things we had planned to do many years ago and just never got around to them because life got busy.  We have been in this house for two uears, and have yet to decorate or do the things we wanted to it.  But the great thing is that we are still young enough and motivated to do them.  The Lord has also shown us that this isn't the end of the story, but the beginning of a new one.  This is where Paul and I get to have the time together that we never got in the beginning.  Sure we were together for five years before having a family, but some of that I was still in school.  The day after graduation I started a full time job working 12 hour night shifts.  He worked 6 and 7 days a week.  Not much time to get to know each other.  Then came kids, dogs, houses, bills, and all the lovely things that come with married life.  Looking back now, I wouldn't have changed any of it.  We were blessed to have our children at all, let alone young.  We enjoyed every minute of them growing up.  And now, they have tured into amazing independent people.  It is time for them to blaze their own trail thru life.  Hopefully someday they can look back, like Paul and I, and feel the pride, graditude, and satisfaction of what they have built together with the love they share with their spouses.  It's an incredible feeling.  I can't tell you how many times my tears of sadness have turned into tears of pride and joy just thinking about all we have done.  So we decided not to be sad anymore that our children were not here.  Rather be grateful of the opportunities they were given and that they found a special someone to share it with.  Afterall, that is what we did.  We married young, worked hard for everything in our whole life, and believed that the Lord would see us through the good and bad.  That is what they need to do.  Love each other and trust in God!  It's what makes a marriage special and stronger. Much love and many blessings!

Road To A Healthier Me...Three of Five

So sorry it has taken me so long to get this posted.  Between my daughter's wedding, new puppies, and just life in general, things have been nuts here.  Boy, life in our house has really taken on a few changes.  Some good, some bad, and some yet to be determimed.  I thought since I had the focus, energy, and time I would finally get a chance to get a post up.  Now, the last post I wrote described getting to know your body.  I truly hope that some of you have been keeping your journals and have learned a thing or two about yourself.  If not, it isn't to late to start.  Now, for the subject that everyone struggles with...diet.  We are constantly being bombarded with the latest, greatest diet plans.  They all have the same promises and seem impossible to follow.  Not only that, they rarely show us the results that we expect.  This brings me to rule number one and a lesson I had to learn the hard way.  Lowering expectations.  I had to get it into my mind that my results would not be the same as others.  With the medications I am on (daily steroids being one of them), it would be harder to control how much I lost.  I, also, had to remember that my body doesn't metabolize certain things as well as others.  Carbs and sugar being just a couple.  The less steroids I take, the more calories my body burns.  Some think this would be an easy problem to have.  Just take less steroids, right?  Wrong answer.  That is asking for a quick hospital stay.  I need those steroids to function.  The more my body is stressed, the more I have to take.  Another issue is that you can't check your steroid levels anytime, like diabetics check their glucose levels.  You have to go by how you feel.  Therefore, it is very easy to get too much.  That means more weight gain.  Plus, it is harder to lose.  Couple all that with the limitations my arthritis has blessed me with, and I am a sitting duck.  Make that an overweight sitting duck.  

This is why it is so important to know your body.  Whether you have a chronic illness or not.  If you do have a chronic illness, you will know better how your body functions (or in some case, doesn't function) and when things start to go wring so you can get right on trating it.  If you don't have a chronic illness, it will help you and your doctor better pinpoint any issues you may have in the future.  I learned that the best diet options for me were portion control, low carbs, high protein and fiber, and to eat less amounts more often.  I also learned that before I workout it is important for me to eat a light snack before hand and do it within an hour or two of the time I take my steroids.  Usually just a yogurt and something with a little salt lIke pretzels.  Drinking lots and lots of fluids is a must.  As my body burns calories and cortisol (which I have to take because my body doesn't make it), it also burns sugar and fluids extremely fast.  So low blood sugar and dehydration come on quick and severe.  It took me two years to figure that out.  It's not information that is always disclosed to you upon diagnosis.  Normal the human body compensates on its own.  Mine doesn'the have the ability to do that.  Which throws my whole theory about ever being normal out the window.  So, I watch my portions, my calories, steer clear of foods that cause inflammation, and drink a lot of fluids.  I will admit, it isn't easy.  However, it does get easier with time and is worth it when you feel better overall.  My diet is mostly plant and animal based.  Basically, if it can't be grown or raised in your back yard, I try not to eat it.  Not always successful, but I try.  The more processed or complex the food, the more inflammation, weight, and pain I experience.  I stay away from creamier salad dressings, heavy grease, bread, and pasta (which I adore) as much as possible.  Since my body is sensitive to salt, preservatives, and I have an extreme nut allergy, I read the labels on everything.  My biggest weakness is sugar.  I love me anything sweet.  Artificial sweetners cause me inflammation and there is research that claims they aren't the best for us.  So it is the real thing for me.  This is where portion control comes into play because I have found that depriving myself of it just doesn't work.  I just keep track of everything I put in my mouth.  A food journal is time consuming, but it is an extremely helpful and essential tool to staying on track.  Yes, it can be hard to remember to write things down.  Especially with our busy lifestyles, but it is worth it.  My best advice is to either keep a small notebook in your purse or find one of the many free apps out there for your phone.  Some will count more then just calories.  I use the My Fitness Pal app, and love it.  It makes a huge difference when you have to be accountable for and actually see what you are putting in your body.

In regards to vitamins, diet supplememts, and other diet aides/plans.  I do not take diet pills, powders, or some natural/herbal supplements.  Not that I don't think they aren't beneficial to some.  I just don't think they are right for me.  Many of them contain ingredients that, combined with my daily medications, can cause more harm then good.  My body can be dysfunctional on its own and doesn't need any help.  I take a One A Day Womens Formula multivitamin, Triple Strength Oesto-Biflex, flaxseed oil (tried fish oil, but too hard on the gut), Vitamin B complex with Vitamin C added, and a potassium supplement when my potassium is low (yet, another symptom of adrenal insufficiency).  All of these are gluten free and approved by my doctors.  My best suggestion is to research the supplement you are interested in.  While there are many hebral and natural supplements out there, they are just like anything else.  There are benefits and side affects to them.  Depending on your body and it's needs, it may react differently then it would for the friend that recommended it.  Also, research the source of everything.  If it's full of fillers and other additives, choose another brand.  Finally, check with you doctor.  I know many doctors don't like to dabble in alternative therapies, but there are some that do.  It is also becoming a more acceptable means of practice, in today's high cost of healthcare and pharmaceuticals (although many insurances won't cover it).

So, there you have it.  My diet plan.  I know it is not what a lot of you wanted to read.  Some were probably thinking I had a quick and easy weight loss diet I had discovered.  Truly, I am sorry to disappoint you.  I, too, know how it feels to be on that merry-go-round.  It stinks.  The truth is, there is no right answer for everyone.  Every persons body, needs, and abilities are different.  You have to do your research, experiment, and work at it.  Just like exercise.  Which I will be covering in my next post.  If I am being honest, I almost think the exercise part is much easier.  I do hope you are being able to learn something from my posts and know you are not alone.  It is a hard battle to fight.  Let's face it...we aren't just working against our own obstacles but the ones society sets in place for us too.  Between the skinny models, advertisements for supplements, and just the general public opinion...we are constantly under pressure to look a certain way.  I al,ost think that how we look has become more important then how we behave.  Not acceptable in my book.  I have just learned that I have to be happy with what I see in the mirror.  If I am not...then I need to look at my plan and make a few changes.  I have made the changes to my diet slowly and am still working on it.  It is something I will always do because it is a part of my lifestyle now.  It has to be because, unless there is a magical cure out there for my problems (or a fountain of youth), they are forever a part of me.  The good, the bad, and the ugly.  Much love and many blessings!

Better Hair Days Ahead

If you are looking to try some higher end hair products, but don't want to spend the money, take a trip to your local Walmart.  While Hubby and I were shopping in Midland on Friday night, I was able to pick up some products I was wanting to try on clearance.  There were many brands marked down throughout the entire hair aisle.  If you have a coupon, then all the better.  I am trying to make the switch to products free of sulfates and other fillers, so I took advantage of these deals.  Hurry, don't know how long they will last.  Better Hair Days Ahead Ladies and Gents.  Yes, even men's products were marked.  Got to take care of the men in our life to.  We are seen in public with them just as much as they are with us.  Not only that, but I am in a family where the men out number us precious females by a great deal.  They start using my stuff, it will be gone before I can use it.  I just want to take a moment to say thank you all.  I am so glad that we have men who read tgus blog too.  Because healing comes from and effects all aspects of live.  It takes a strong family (men, women, chidren) to hold each other up and help you to be the better you that you dream of.  Also, just in time for back to school to have those teenagers looking awesome!  I am down to one, and he is picky so hoping this helps.  Much love and many blessings

***I am not making money or benefiting in any way by Walmart or the products sold.  All opinions given are of my own experiences.  I have a love/hate relationship with Walmart.  I love their prices, but hate some of the things I witnessed by other customers when I am in there.  Which is why I go late at night or very early in the morning.  I truly love you all.  Good luck!

Road To A Healthier Me...Two of Five

So, it's time to get started.  This first part sounds harder then it is...trust me.  There came a point when I was so discouraged and my self esteem just took a hit.  A really hard hit.  I was sick, overweight, fearful for losing my job, and so many other things.  It was like someone had just pulled the rug out from under my feet.  Everything I had worked so hard for over 20 years seemed to be circling the drain...and fast.  Even though I had been praying all along, I felt like I needed to continue to do so.  I prayed for a clear answer.  My answer came, one day, while I was reading the brochure to a medication.  Go figure.  Leave it to the nurse in me to figure it out.  You see, I read extensively on medications that I am prescribed before I take them.  That is just it.  I was reading it as a patient, not a nurse.  They say nurses make the worst patients.  That is because we don't see taking care of ourselves as nursing.  We see everyone else that way, but not ourselves.  I started thinking of all the things I was supposed to be doing to take care of myself thru a whole new light.  I realized that I didn't have a list of my current meds in my purse (just in case).  I realized, while I was somewhat cautious of what I was eating, I didn't understand how my body was metabolizing it with all the health issues I had.  I was researching and reading, but I wasn't rationalizing any of it.  I know it sounds silly. But I was, in some ways, the nurse that I so hard tried not to be.  Only I was doing it to myself.  I wasn't true to myself and I was not being honest with myself.  One of a nurses biggest pet peeves is when our patients leaves information out or lies to us.  It can result in mistreatment or worse.  So, I do what I always do.  I sit in front of the computer with pen and paper to start formulating a plan. 

I stood in front of the mirror and took measurements of everything from head to toe.  As I measured, I recorded everything in a small notebook.  I took my weight and recorded it in there also.  Then I started thinking about what I wanted to acheive.  For me, it wasn't just about losing weight, but about living a healthier lifestyle and maintaining it.  I knew that this would be the best way for me to control my exacerbations.  I was realistic with myself and honest.  I even wrote down the foods that I couldn't resist.  I knew that I couldn't use commercial weight loss products (due to medications, disease process, etc.).  I, also, knew that I had to allow for cheat moments (not days) and that I had to know my body and the disease processes completely.  By that I mean how it responded to foods, exercise, stress, and medications.  As I sit and started doing my research I realized that the reason I had been so skinny before was because people with adrenal insufficiency don't metabolize carbohydrates and fats well.  So my body didn't have the same amount of fuel a healthy person did.  Which resulted in burning muscle, fatigue, and so much more.  So I knew that these two things had to be eliminated or decreased.  My body was wearing itself out trying to break it down.  A light bulb went off in my head and I realized that I had continued to eat all these things, even after I started taking the steroid (cortisol...you know the fat hormone that you hear about on TV).  I couldn't stop taking the steroid.  I needed it to live...hello!  Regardless of the bad things you hear, your body does need a certain amount of it to maintain life.  Without it you can not regulate your blood pressure, heart rate, breathing...well just about everything.  My body didn't make any so I have to give it to myself everyday.  Think diabetes, with a twist.  Only you can't check your levels everyday and it is rare it is harder to find information.  The steroids also make it harder for me to lose weight.  Especially, if I have to take extra.  The arthritis makes it harder to exercise because of the pain.  Which I do anytime my system is stressed.  So there was my answer for the weight gain.  My body was storing the carbs and fats that it once couldn't.  It, also, couldn't burn it because it would flare my arthritis and asthma, which led to stress, which led to more steroids.  A nonstop cycle.

My plan had just formulated itself.  I had to cut out carbs and fats as much as possible.  I had to settle for small goals, pace myself, and keep my expectations low.  It also showed that I had to write down everything I ate, how my body reacted to it, and what I was taking for meds everyday.  This meant what time, how much, and every reaction my body had.  Last but not least, it meant that no matter how afraid I was of pain or flaring my arthritis/asthma, I had to find a way to move.  So, I started by slipping in ten lunges here or there.  If I was doing my hair in the bathroom, I would do them.  If I was watching TV, I would do ten of something else easy.  Gradually, I would add to the ten.  If I had five minutes, I would go pull weeds in the gardens (gardening is excellent exercise).  Anything to get moving.  That is where I would start, and with the understanding that I would have to tweet and modify things as I went.  Most of all, I had to get it out of my head that a weak moment does not equal failure.  That I could slip up, but I had to get right back on the wagon.  Not the next week, but the next minute.  So, there it is.  I know it sounds complicated and like it wouldn't work for everyone, but I promise, it will. 

So, the part I know you are all looking forward to...the homework.  That's right, I said "homework".  Your homework is to write down your weight, your measurements, any and all medical conditions (believe it or not the meds and conditions do effect how your body handles what you do and what you eat), start a wellness journal that you keep with you always.  It doesn't have to be anything huge.  Just something to write down everything you eat/drink, medications you take, how you feel and sleep, and your measurements.  Include times, things like naps, exercise, your mental state (fuziness, alert, tired, etc.).  I want you to look at diets pertaining to your particular health issues and what you are supposed to be doing to treat it.  You want to know everything you can about your body.  You will also learn so much more.  Patterns and habits will come to light.  If you smoke, you will see when your hardest times are.  I know it seems awful time consuming.  Explore the My Fitness Pal app, or others like it, to help make it easier.  You should not look at this as time consuming, but as taking care of yourself.  Knowledge is power.  The more knowledge you gain, the more confident you will be.  This leads to success!  The next post, I plan to cover vitamins, supplements, diet, etc...!   Thanks for sticking with me.  I know this all seems basic, maybe even undoable to some.  But we have to start with the basics in order to form better habits.  No matter what fitness level you are at.  Set your goals realistically.  Based on what you are doing now, your lifestyle, and ability.  Be honest.  Dont say you are doing 100 cruches if you have not done them in years, or that you are cutting out all pop if that us what you drink all day everyday.  You are only setting yourself up for failure.  Much love and many blesings!

i

The Road to a Healthier Me...Part One of Five

Well, here it is.  After posting an updated picture on Facebook of myself, many messaged me wanting to know how I am losing weight.  I wish I could explain it all in a simple post.  The truth is, it's not that simple.  Weight is not something I ever had to worry about.  Not gaining it anyway.  Thought I just had good genes or something.  Then, my world got pretty complicated when I found out about my adrenal insufficiency and arthritis.  It got even more difficult when my asthma decided to protest.  So, I found myself on high levels of steroids, unable to move, and unable to breath.  A dear friend of mine and I always joke around as to whether I was going to decide to breath or move on any given day.  Funny in hindsight, but not so much at the time.  To top it all off, I had to have major oral surgery that resulted in false teeth and having difficulty chewing, swallowing, and talking.  Not where I imagined myself 20 years ago when I was the ultimate super mom and wife.  But that is all in the past, now.  It took me along time to figure out how to get myself, at least, well again.  After my Facebook post today, I decided that I should share what I have learned over the last 13 months.  This series is not meant to sound difficult or to hold you back from reaching your goals.  It is, however, meant to educate you and open your eyes.  Keep in mind, I am not a doctor or fitness expert.  Although, I am a nurse...I am also a patient who happens to be a mom and a wife.  Much of what I have learned is bits and pieces of many things I have researched and tried myself.  I do not make claims or garuntees that it will work for everyone.  This is only testimony of my experience.  Let's be clear...losing weight and being healthy is a commitment.  It is also different for each and everyone of us and very personal (both emotionally and physically).  I have shown you two pictures.  The one of me in the pink tank was taken June 2014 when my daughter graduated.  The photo of me in the yellow top was taken yesterday  (July 2015).  I weighed 185 lbs. back then.  Today I weigh 155lbs..  Not to my goal yet, but I am getting there. 

So, you might be asking, "Why, five parts?"  There is very good reason for this, I promise.  For starters, there is just that much I have learned.  Also, I wanted it to be easier to understand and follow.  No fancy, smancy, medical terms here.  Yes, that means you can pronounce the words!  Last but not least, getting healthy again is a process and a commitment.  Not just to yourself, but to those who are close to you.  This means you might need a break or time to absorb your thoughts and feelings.  That's right folks, I said feelings.  I stated this was a process.  It's not only about losing weight.  It involves changing the way you live...for good.  It will make you think of things you never did, feel things you never felt, and try things you never tried.  But in the end, it will be worth it.  So, hang on to your undies folks, this ride is going to be bumpy.  I encourage you to take notes, do your own research, and get ready for a good dose of being honest with yourself.  No magic pill here, people.  Just hardworking and determination.  The ride starts now...(or, at least, in the next post).  Much love and many blessings!  Oh! And Good Luck! 

High Standards!

Well, I am finding myself in a pretty weird mood lately.  I think it has something to do with my daughter getting married, my youngest son turning 16, and my older son and his wife being so far away.  They warn you about "Empty Nest Syndrome".  But no one explains that it happens in stages and so fast.  And that for the first time in 20 years, you and your husband will have to spend time alone together and carry on a conversation that doesn't revolve around dates, sports, school, and anything related to teenagers.  Lol!  So in an attempt to keep this post as organized as possible, we will challenge each one in order of age, from youngest up.

My youngest son is 16 and very, very active.   He does not sit well, which is why his video games have collected more dust then the west coast.  Turning 16 is a right of passage for all teenagers, but I think when you are the youngest and only one home, it is definitely different.  He spends a lot of time with friends.  His friends spend a lot of time here.  And while yes, there are new found freedoms, there is also loneliness.   He has always had someone there.  It's the trait of being the youngest.  Many of you know he struggles with school alot and spending time being active is how we keep him from bouncing of the walls 24/7.  It isn't for everyone, but it works for us.  They wanted him on meds when he was younger and we opposed them.  Sports was his therapy and outlet, and it worked.  That being said, he is the sweetest boy with so much life in him.  I am so proud of how far he has come.  He is learning benefits of getting up stronger everytime he gets knocked down.  That makes him a winner, no matter what.  Hoping he can make it once Shelby is gone.  Guess the workout area will need some upgrades.

Our Tinkerbell is going to be 19 on September 17th of this year.  Two days later (on the 19th) we will watch her get married to her Peter Pan.  He is an absolutely amazing gentleman in the Air Force.  After that they will be moving to Washington.  It's getting harder as the time grows closer.  We went the wedding planner route and I am so glad we did.  I am finding it is too emotional for me to handle.  I know she will be so happy.  He is the best son in law we could have ever asked for.  It's just so hard to think that I won't be able to see her beautiful face every morning or hear her funny one liners everyday.  This one is hardest.  She is our only daughter.  You can't put a limit on that.  Not for love, not for money, not for happiness, not for anything.  Yet, we are extremely proud of who she is.  We were always accused of having to high standards for our kids, especially Shelby.  We never expected anything from them we knew they couldn't give.  Shelby has completely put in awe with her wonderful heart and ability to see the brightside.  It gives me comfort knowing she is so independent.  She is going to have to be, and she will rock at it.

Then there is our Soldier Boy and his wife, who have had to endure so much pain and hardship lately.  It doesn't even seem fair that any couple should have to experience this much heartbreak and tears.  I miss them both very much.  Just because he is an adult and lives far from home, doesn't mean I don't worry.  In fact, I worry more.  I feel I have missed so much with them away.  I just do the best I can thru text and calls.  It's not the same, and some days the void can be consuming.  I take comfort in the fact that we instilled those higher standards in him.  He is an awesome husband.  Someday, they will be the best parents any child would be lucky to have.  My sweet daughter in law brings the best out in him.  That's when you know it's right.  they are both learning that you can get through anything, as long as you stick together.  It makes it easier and the loving bond between you grow stronger.

So, hubby and I are finally getting time alone.  The problem is, we don't know what to do with it.  It's crazy that for 20 years we couldn't get time together and now we have too much.  So we set out to make the most of it.  You see, we started our family young due to health issues.  So we never really had that alone time some couples get before starting a family.  Yes, even though we had been dating for 5 years, we hadn't lived together but for a very short time.  So, this is our time.  Time to find hobbies as a couple and as individuals.  We decided that instead of looking at the extra time as empty, we would look at it as a new beginning.  A new beginning into being by ourselves one day in this house.  This also keeps us from potentially hurting each other.  Lol!  Hopefully, by the time our youngest graduates, we will be okay.  Good thing we have a couple of years because this is going to take some work.  That being said, we could not be any prouder of all our children.   They exceeded any expectations they were held up to.  They are positive, happy, giving, children.  They all believe in God and they all know the importance of family and helping others.  That's what setting standards for your children can prove.  It's not about making them people they are not.  It's about helping them to become the people they are supposed to be, in according to God's plan for them.  Much love and many blessings!

God Placed Those Dreams On Your Heart...

I am supposed to be sleeping, right now.  Interview for a new position at work.  It's funny how your life changes so much after dealing with chronic illness.  There was a point last year that I felt I couldn't possibly be of any use to anyone as a nurse.  Everybody encouraged me to apply for permanent disability.  This was something that I just felt it wasn't the time for, yet.  So, I picked myself up, and asked God to show me the path He wanted me to take.  Well, here I am redefining  what my life has stood for.  Something happens to you when you decide to fight back.  You feel this inner strength that causes you to stand a little taller, smile a little bigger, and believe that dreams can come true.  And in the process of achieving your dreams you learn so much about yourself and your relationship with God.  It becomes one of teacher and student.  He shows us what He dreams for us.  Sometimes our dreams and his dreams aren't all that different.  It's the plan of attack that differs.  All to often we don't see the path that God wants us to take.  Or we do see it, but it looks harder then our way.   So, we stick to our plans and stumble often.  If there is one thing that I have learned it is that by following God's blue print for my life, I appreciate every step it takes to get to the finish line.  Even the impossible steps are more rewarding once taken.  The journey may take longer.  There might be more critics.  Yes, there will be times you want to give up.  We all have these moments.  You need to remember that if He didn't think you could achieve the dreams you have, He would hve never placed them on your heart. My plan was to become a Nurse practioner.  I have accepted that God had a better plan for me.  It's going to be a challenge.  But one I am more then willing to take.  Hope you lol believe in yourself, as I do.  You are all amazing wo, enjoy and men.  Don't let anything get in the way of the life God has for you.  He sees your potential and wants the very best for you.  Much love and many blessings!

Happy Mother's Day!

It's amazing how God knows what we need, right at the right moment.  I have had a very challenging couple of weeks.  It would seem that my body is rebelling a bit.  Trying to move forward is a bit harder then I thought it would be.  There are daily schedule changes, medication changes, and dealing with limitations that all take more time for my system to adjust to.  However, I am starting to come around.  Life is definitely unpredictable.  Mother's Day was just what I needed.  There is nothing like having your family pamper you to make you feel like a very important part of their lives.  I will be honest.  I started feeling a bit taken advantage of.  I think all mom's go through those feelings from time to time.  We forget that they are just used to mom being the one who takes care of everything.  It's not their fault.  It's just how it is.  I am so lucky to have the family I do.  God reminded me of that today.

Although today was awesome, there was one thing missing.  Òur oldest son.  I am so proud of the soldier he is.  However, it is hard to be away from him on these special days.  No matter how old he gets, there will always be the worry and concern that I had for him while he was growing up.  It's hard to believe that he will be a parent himself soon.  I know that he will be an awesome dad.  I also know my beautiful, sweet daughter in law is going to be a special mommy.  They were meant to be parents.  You can see it in them when they are with other children.  I believe that the Lord brings special people together to bless with little ones who will be the best of both of them.  I feel it happened with Paul and I.  I also believe it has happened with them.  We are so excited.  A true blessing!

So, I want to wish all of my readers a wonderful Mother's Day.  Not just for today, but every day.  May we never forget the importance of what we do as moms.  We need to hold on to all the memories and create as many new ones as possible.  The impression we leave on our children goes way beyond high school graduation.  They don't stop being our children just because they moved away and started a life of their own.  The life they create for themselves is based on the life we gave them as children.  The values, the love, the whole package shapes them as adults.  If we are lucky, they will fill the purpose God has for their life.  There is more importance there then we often realize.  Definitely more then they will understand until they are our ages.  Many blessings and much love.